Flatulance...

Two whole days stuck in the studio on my own...and why? They say all the scrummy cakes and food my lovely laydees are sending me, are giving me the bottom burps...

Shevali and nicey nicey goody two shoes birdy Verdi spent all day Monday in Shropshire...pretty sure I saw one of my fans dancing behind the weather round up...ummmm...but those girls sure were laughing...

Then yesterday Verdi Birdy spent the day at the motor show...it just isn't fair..

Still it gave me time to work on my latest knit one pearl one...take a look at this little beauty..

This is particularly useful for fast track professionals like myself...handy for my lip gloss, hair tongs and of course those delicious delicasies my laydees keep sending in.

Which reminds me, a massive thanks to Doreen from Tipton who's Shangrila Sexgod Tart - great use of fresh cream and banana btw - is nestling in my knitted sack under the desk as I write!

I'm going to have stern words with the editor today...this current office banter about my alleged (journalists fave word) flatulance is really below the belt...those nice sports boys don't seem to mind...still I've been in their dressing room, not a pretty sight...however the camera crew really should stop wearing those ridiculous masks...

Righty O laydees I'm off to open a Chiropodists Coffee Morning in Coventry this morning...no corny jokes promise...

Byesee laydees

Cream Horn Stains...

This is what I'm talking about...teehee..!

Poor old Bob...he really needs to get more of a fan base going...

Speaking of fans...I'd like to give a shout out (that's what they say these days...) to the wonderful Wilma from West Bromich who sat with me through the cricket yesterday...no you are quite right my love...I have never tasted better cream horns in my life...and thanks for the recipie...yummy yums..!

As for the tip for removing fresh cream from chinos...maybe next time you could use the denture glue out of the tube and not whilst still in your mouth..? People will talk...

As you can see below...my latest design is finished...I'm pretty pleased with the finished product...the socks were supposed to match but I ran out vermillion vomit...hoo hum...the pattern I used is available at a very cheap price for card carrying WI members...

I'm just waiting for my driver to whisk me off to the studio...I shall be in makeup for most of the day...

...at my age I need all the help I can get... ...but don't fret the Cheltenham Crochet Circle have invited me to open their Crutch Crochet-athon...raising cash for the very important charity Trusses for All...

I'm really looking forward to it as I know from past visits that Doris's fish delicacies are the finest in the Midlands...what that woman can do with crab paste and choux buns is a delight...

Must dash...bysee laydees...more after Midlands Today tonight...

Mail and Fans...

Trying for a nice lie in this morning before a dip in my paddling pool...nekked of course......when the bloody postman woke me...with this...Georgie ring my agent...

Just dozing off and the dammned protestors turned up again...can't a star get any privacy...?

I'm going to have to get the BBC security guy Clint, to put up more signs...ooooh the drama...

Back to my morning nap and bugger me if the Peterborough Posse from the WI didn't arrive banging at the door offering me a poached kipper and flambed (get me a copy writer quick) spinach fatata....laydeeees ya knows I love ya...but I got to watch my waist...I just knows you laydeees do...teehee..!

No sleep for tv personalities on a Saturday morning and it's my shoe cleaners day off...ho hum...maybe that nice Steve wassisname from sport might pop over and buff my brogues...

Thanks to the lovely Cynthia from Smethwick for sending me this picture she took after breaking through the security barrier at TV AM ...

I remember the day well that's why I look a little startled, it's not every day a rubber masked half nekked laydeee hops on my lap - hope the varicouse veins are better love...

Poor old Frostie thought it was one of Frank Bough's laydeees returning a whip ...teehee...yes Cynthia I do still wear the jumper...but er no you can't have any of my toenail clippings...sorry love...Val from Tipton has first dabs on those..

Aaaah well no piece for the wicked as the baker said to the devil......my turn on the sunlounger...but that's enough about Ricardo...teehee...

Phew...

Well just had a nice shandy with the lovely weather girl ... hot and damp...but that's enough about me...

Tough show...er sorry...news tonight...very bad...still I was wearing a very nice purple number...my homage to Tony Blair...or Tone as I call him.

I've interviewed every Prime Minister since Gladstone...and made them squirm on the couch I can tell you....even Mags...as I call her...

Just a quick shout out to the WI (that's womens institute to my guests across the pond) Posse of Polesworth...laydees your finger buffet was extraordinary...I didn't know you could fill vol o vants (get me a copy editor quick..) with that...yummmy yums...( teehee I knows you likes it laydees..)

That's me for the weekend...I've got a cricket match in Dorridge on Sunday...so any of my laydeeees in the area...I'll be the one in the panama hat and light sta-pressed chinos...I'm hoping my cashmere cream and tangerine sweater will be back from the dry cleaners...I just love something soft wrapped around my neck...( teehee I knows you likes it laydees..)

I'll try and post tommorow...but it's the New Zealand test match and ewe know how much I love my cricket...ummm speaking of New Zealand and ewes...I wonder if my old mucker Alan Lamb (teehee) will be playing..?

Bysie laydees...

Welcome

Hooray my first post...it really is good to be here and a big woohoo to all those laydees from the W I ... helloooo..and thanks so much for voting me Midlands Most Sexiest Presenter...and can I just say you have the most fantastic cream buns Brenda teehee...( eyebrow waggles 'cos I know ya likes it..)

Here's a picture of me... as you can see the only thing that's changed is my hair colour...blame the sun as I'm always out watching cricket...teehee ( eyebrow waggle cos I know ya likes it...)

Must dash...got to come up with a couple of quips for tonights show...